dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
