if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Success! We fucked roommates!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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