He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
