got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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