All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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