when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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