her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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