It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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