she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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