i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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