Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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