I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
