Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
