Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
