Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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