we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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