I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
