What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I want is dick and wine.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
