Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
