you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
