My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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