so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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