we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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