I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize