Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
