I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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