I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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