So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
