I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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