I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
