i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
