oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
