Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
