How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
