They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There's always time for handjobs
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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