Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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