Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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