woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
