I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
