He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
