Non-Jews are for practice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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