is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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