Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
