You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
