Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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