Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
vagina is talking i cant
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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