Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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