Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He felt like a one man threesome
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You may now shotgun with the bride
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I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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