Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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