and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
