New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
