He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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