help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
