i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
