My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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