So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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