im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
