She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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