Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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