I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
COCAINE IS GR8
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
